Dr House vs. Walter White

The age old question: who would win in a fight, Dr. House or Walter White? Well that is a very easy question to answer: Walter White. Dr House is a vicodin-addicted cripple doctor who does not own any weapons (other than a bitchin’ cane with flames, and the ability to teleport), and Walter White is the head of a drug empire, who owns a gun and ricin (can House diagnose it in time?), and is famously the one who knocks.

But that is not the question I am asking today, no. Today I ask who would win in a rap battle between the two and why.

Lets begin with the actors: Hugh Laurie is an actual musician outside of being a comedian and actor. Bryan Cranston on the other hand, has no discography to speak of. Hugh Laurie does also have a history in the blues genre, which is a predecessor to hip hop. Hugh Laurie therefore would, as far as we know, win a rap battle against Bryan Cranston.

Now the characters themselves. What about their stage names? Dr House is already the perfect name for a rap artist, or a house DJ; whereas Heisenberg sounds like something out of a 80s-90s German folk group (as well as being the name of a Nazi scientist). Although this would not affect their ability to rap, it is important for the grand scheme of things. In this regard, House also wins.

Let us now look at the canon. In House MD, there is a scene where House is rapping with Lin Manuel Miranda’s character. There is no such scene in Breaking Bad. House wins once again.

In conclusion, it is clear to see that Dr Gregory House from House MD would beat Walter Hartwell White from Breaking Bad in a rap battle, should one occur.