PubliCie’s 2023 Taart Review
There’s a reason PubliCie is one of Ockham’s most efficient committees, and that’s all thanks to the taart (cake) system. Forgot your APs? Taart! Absent without notice? Taart! Disrespecting the taart system? Taart! However, taart isn’t simply used as punishment, it’s also used as encouragement for its members. Statistics show that PubliCie meetings are 80% more likely to end on time - or even end before time - when taart is involved. Given all this experience, PubliCie has developed a tried and true Taart Test that evaluates taart from its nature to its benefits. So get your utensils ready, young’uns, because we’re going through PubliCie’s taarts one by one!
Eet smakelijk!
Ice Cream Marmer
A traditional, Jumbo-made marmer cake with chocolate, topped with a generous serving of biologisch (organic) vanilla ice cream. PubliCie starts off with the student’s version of a “lava cake”, only without the chocolate lava, but with more than enough ice cream to make up for it…
PubliCie’s Taart Test
1. Is it actually a taart?
Yes. Look at that delicious marbling, the crumble at the edges…
2. How happy does Hammy look?
Hammy looks quite delighted. It’s the first (recorded) taart of the year, and they’re the first to try it out!
3. Sweetness?
The ice cream is sweet, while the cake itself is not too sweet, which makes for the perfect balance.
4. Aesthetic?
Ice cream on cake, how much more aesthetic could you be?
5. Bonus points:
Ice cream + 1
Overall:
A solid 7 out of 10. Would recommend!
The .45 Magnum… But Tastier
You would think that “taart” entails a very specific product created through a very specific process using a very specific tool (oven/furnace/what have you)... but PubliCie’s innate creativity means thinking out of the box sometimes.
PubliCie’s Taart Test
1. Is it actually a taart?
No. Cream on a stick?! Not taart! But good enough for the taart-lovers at PubliCie.
2. How happy does Hammy look?
Perched on the shoulder of the committee’s beloved treasurer, Hammy looks as comfy as can be!
3. Sweetness?
Sweeter than the ice cream from before, that’s for sure! The cookie adds an extra touch.
4. Aesthetic?
By itself, not too shabby. With PubliCie’s treasurer? Cottage core lovers rejoice!
5. Bonus points:
Creativity + 1
Overall:
A delicious 7/10. Can’t go wrong with ice cream, so still a pass!
Oreo’s Been Expanding Their Products to Stuff Like Churros, So Oreo Cake Isn’t Actually The Weirdest of the Bunch
Did you know that you can turn Oreo into anything? Cake is one option, but the company’s been experimenting with bacon (duckduckgo: “bacon-wrapped oreos”), so who knows what we’ll see from the company in the future? This isn’t actually a cake from the Oreo company, but Oreo has very much inspired this Albert Heijn treat!
PubliCie’s Taart Test
1. Is it actually a taart?
Yes! And not just any taart… it’s an Oreo Taart! Could anything be better?
2. How happy does Hammy look?
Scratch happy, Hammy looks absolutely THRILLED to have this cake right now!
3. Sweetness?
Overly sweet, but the richness of the cake balances that out perfectly.
4. Aesthetic?
With all that black and white, if you’re into goth or dark academia, you could totally use this to sweeten up the vibe.
5. Bonus points:
Oreo + 1
Overall:
A yummy 7.5/10. Hammy’s tummy is full!
Scarf as Red as Strawberries!
There’s one thing that’s better than cake, and that’s cake that matches the outfit! Hammy’s elated to have a cake that matches their scarf. Got to keep that aesthetic strong, you know? Featuring a beautiful strawberry-topped cake with round corners, there’s just enough for PubliCie with its two new members.
PubliCie’s Taart Test
1. Is it actually a taart?
Yes! An Actual, Honest-to-Hamster, Full-on Taart!
2. How happy does Hammy look?
Extremely happy! They look ready to dig into that strawberry goodness!
3. Sweetness?
Sweet, but just so. Perfect for the summertime!
4. Aesthetic?
Through the roof! Suppose that’s what happens when someone gets an actual taart…?
5. Bonus points:
Fruits + 2
Overall:
An astounding 8/10. Strawberries are shaped like hearts, which is the perfect symbol for the love that went around as PubliCie devoured this cake…
Beat the Heat with Calippo!
The day begins with the sun rising early over the horizon. You wake up and see that 1) there’s a PubliCie meeting today and 2) you’ve been taarted. Great, that means you get to go shopping for cake today! What will you get…? This PubliCie member decided it’s too hot for cake today, which is honestly valid. We already know PubliCie has no qualms with ice cream taart…
PubliCie’s Taart Test
1. Is it actually a taart?
Based on PubliCie’s definition, yes. Based on any other definition? Meh.
2. How happy does Hammy look?
Happy beyond belief! Whew, Calippos are one of the best ways to keep cool in the summer! #notsponsored (though Ockham’s external could perhaps look into changing that…)
3. Sweetness?
Sweet, fruity, and with cola options. Perfectly diverse for pride month!
4. Aesthetic?
It gives childhood nostalgia vibes… which is better than any aesthetic.
5. Bonus points:
Kindness and consideration for members suffering in the heat + 2
Overall:
An awesome 7/10! Can’t wait to see what PubliCie members bring next year.
Skimmed to the bottom of this article?
Do I smell Taart?
