Why Guitars Are Obviously Better Than Bass (Sorry, Bassists)

source: freepik.com

Look, bass guitars are cool. They’re low, they’re rumbly, they make your chest vibrate like you just swallowed a subwoofer. But let’s be honest: guitars are the divas, the drama queens, the sparkly main characters of the musical world.

First of all, a guitar has six strings. That’s two more than the bass, which is basically musical poverty. Six strings means six times more emotions, six times more confusing chord shapes, and six times more chances to impress people at parties who don’t actually know what you’re playing.

Guitars get riffs. They get solos. They get firework sparkles shooting behind them while people scream “Free Bird!” Bass? Bass gets… support. Bass is the friend who “really holds the group together” but somehow never gets invited to karaoke night.

And let’s not forget: when someone says, “Wow, you play guitar?” nobody asks follow-up questions. But when you say, “I play bass,” they tilt their head like you’re a wildlife documentary. “Oh! That’s… nice. So… do you have any friends?”

This is definitely not a plea towards the board of H.V. Ockham to buy a guitar and make it a permanent part of the room. We have all been enjoying Proto’s guitar very much.

(Also, to my bassist friends, you’re the best. Sorry.)